We took my mom out for breakfast to our local IHOP last weekend. All was fine and dandy until the waitress decided to inform me that the kitchen confused my order such that my seafood omelet would be delayed.
The waitress came to our table and then looked at the husband, who had earlier given the waitress all of our orders while mom and I were busy chatting. She glanced at me and then switched back to Jeff. "Does she speak English?" she asked, referring to me.
I guess, somehow something about me said "I do not speak English." Or was it maybe my earlier chatter in Arabic with mom? Oh well!
I have had the opposite happen. My wife and I went out to eat at a local Kabab place. The guy taking our order was an Afghani, but he had worked in the Gulf and spoke Arabic.
I guess he saw this white guy with Arab lady and thought that he’d flirt a bit with my wife in Arabic because I wouldnt know what was going on.
They bantered about, back and forth in Arabic about where she was from, where he learned Arabic and the like. He asked her where is your husband from? He got more than a bit of a shock when I answered that question, in Arabic.
My wife has this type of stuff happen all of the time, although it is usually with Hispanic people trying to talk to her in Spanish.
I know sometime “regular Americans” expect to get an accented English from her, but as she was schooled here, grade school, high school and university, she doesnt have any accent at all.
I remember going to a Subway and my wife and I talking in Arabic. The Bengali behind the counter asked in English if I was Lebanese. He didnt know Arabic because he never would have taken my Arabic for Lebananese, but as there are blond haired, blue eyed Lebanese, Palestinians and Syrians, he thought I must be since I was speaking Arabic.
I could just imagine the wheels in Jeff’s mind turning with such an excellent opportunity handed to him to very politely inform the waitress — in so many words — that his Arab-speaking wife has a master’s from a university in England and speaks and writes it all very well.
I assume the waitress just didn’t know any better and was simply asking a question in the name of correct communication. Good wait staffers learn, one way or another, to be cool and communicate as clearly as possible. Orders can be misunderstood too easily sometimes.
It probably won’t help you feel any better but……….. On my way back to Amman, during the last hour of my RJ flight about two weeks ago, the lady in the seat behind me started asking me how I knew Arabic. As we started visiting, I found out that she and her husband (Jordanian-Americans) own four IHOP restuarants in Oklahoma City (my home city). I had eaten in two of them with my family over the holidays. Small world! I thought that was pretty cool.
Gotta love the yanks.
So do you??
It is an easy answer, I guess. He can answer her by saying: “yes”; and the confusion is over. Unless you want her to know you are the Shakespear (spell !) of your time; then it is another issue. From what I can smell; she did not get her tip that day ! Take it easy !
LOCAL IHOP? WHERE ARE YOU? AMMAN? IHOP IN AMMAN? IS IS FOR REAL! I WANT IHOP PANCAKES!
My first reaction is to say “of course she was being rude, she should have spoken to you, if the question was for you, and your husband could have stepped in if it turned out you didn’t speak English” BUT…
I’ve been in the exact opposite position quite a few times. I was married to a Chinese woman for 10+ years and we used to go out to eat with her family in Chinatown 4 or 5 times a month. I speak neither Cantonese nor Mandarin, I’m obviously a white guy, and most of the time I was the only non-Chinese in the restaurant. It would have been excruciatingly painful and awkward if all the waiters and waitresses had spoken to me each of those times we ate out (most of the restaurant service in Chinatown are new immigrants who don’t speak English at all) and I’m glad they didn’t. I encouraged that (them ignoring me) by not making eye contact. They seem to know that means “Don’t talk to me” I guess. I can use chop sticks better than most Chinese people, though, but that never stopped them from bringing me a knife and fork, either 🙂
At least they didn’t refer to me as “gweilo” which is good, because I do know that word!
So, bottom line, I’m not sure if she was being rude or if she was trying to be nice. How did you feel about it? I guess you felt she was being rude, since you posted about it?
Things like that stopped bothering me long time ago, I always resort to humor at such situations.
I would have answered her in Spanish.LOL
Or boroken English with an oriental accent.
Peace
The waitress was being ignorant. She should have addressed you first with the question rather than speaking directly to your husband.